How to survive Berlin as a basic bitch

If you haven’t been to Berlin, you will have probably heard things like how it is the ‘edgy hipster capital of Europe’, or to be ‘careful what you wear and don’t let the bouncers hear you speak English in the Berghain queue’ (that is, if you were prepared to wait in said three-hour-long queue). If you have been to Berlin, you will know that these pearls of wisdom from your fellow globetrotting pals hold at least some truth.